Making mistakes - by Monica

"If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead

"I don't know if I continue even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all…If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self." –Maya Angelou

I know that sometimes we let the fear of mistakes control us into not doing anything. Yes, I watched "Eclipse" at midnight this morning, and everybody knew I was going to make a reference to it somewhere in this post haha. But one of the things that touched me the most in the movie was the graduation speech given by the character Jessica. She said, "This is the time to make mistakes." She concludes her speech by saying that,in making mistakes, that's how you find out who you want to be. If we didn't make mistakes, how would we know what we really want? She tells her graduating class to change majors and to fall in love...a lot. And the lesson I learned was that I need to not be so afraid of making mistakes. Because by fearing mistakes, I am, in turn, missing out on finding myself. Because, honestly, making mistakes aren't all that bad. They can be fun if you let them be...if you stop taking yourself so seriously.

I will end with an excerpt from an article on ezine that I really enjoyed and thought shed light and why we should STOP fearing mistakes. Instead we should start LIVING our lives, instead of fearing.


We don't like to make mistakes. We take them personally. They embarrass us, shame us, show us what we're lacking, you know...

Stop that train of thought right there.

Try not to do that anymore. When you're aware you made a mistake, or you're just afraid you will, and the inner jeering squad starts, listen to the feeling behind the words, not the words themselves. Be aware of them and don't just cringe in self-directed irritation. And most especially try not to agree with them and voice them out loud.

You see, the feelings that fuel the harsh words are ultimately protective. When you were younger and the judgments of the Big People and your friends left you bewildered and hurt, you adjusted your behavior so you wouldn't get to feel that bad again. Over time, we absorb this lesson and listen only to the words, the original reasoning behind them lost to memory.

You have to understand that making mistakes does not lessen your innate value as a human being.

One definition of the word "sin" - hamartia, from the Greek - means 'to miss the mark'. Mistakes aren't sins, in the way we usually understand to mean the word. You just missed the target, is all. Regroup, breathe. Assess, and re-aim. Don't take the error as a scathing condemnation of your judgment, character or intelligence. Circumstances in life can and will beat you down enough without you joining in.

Still nervous? Here's a cool-headed check-list you can run through to calm yourself, assess the fear, and get going:

What's the absolute worst thing that can happen when I decide to do this? - This is a pessimist's best dream -- your worst nightmare.

What is the realistic, uninflated likelihood of it actually happening? - This step can calm you down right here once you calculate the odds.

What resources do I already have in place to deal with it?

Will it matter in another week? Month? Year? Over my lifetime? By how much?

Here's a parting gift to cap things, modernized versions of two old sayings. "What doesn't kill me a)sometimes makes me wish it did b) but can make me stronger c) and make me smarter, once I learn from it." And, "There is nothing to fear, even fear itself."